We live in a world where each sound of the TV, computer and phone is a call to buy something. Advertising on the streets imposes another unnecessary dress and bloggers assert that there is no life without miraculous face cream with unknown composition and new shoes of the coming season. But how had we lived before? Where is the end of the healthy consumption and a start of the shopaholism?
Shopaholism or oniomania is an uncontrollable desire to buy something, regardless of the circumstances and consequences. As well as any disease, shopaholism has symptoms and effects. There are the reasons that gradually form a standard scenario. What are the reasons and how to help a shopaholic with their shopping addiction?
Scenario 1: The desire for luxury, or Heavy childhood. The classic case of this scenario was shown in the movie «Confessions of a Shopaholic.» If you wore clothes after older brothers and sisters, your mother tried to dress you on the local market or second-hand, and your wardrobe was limited by a half of the shelf, it’s your story. And for us, the Russians, it’s a double problem, since our consumption before and during the 90’s was very limited due to lack of funds and the limited supply of goods. In this variety it is too easy to get lost.
Scenario 2: «Loneliness is a bastard», or Lack of warmth. In this case, our best friend is Uncle Freud. But we do not speak now about it,we will discuss it in a more modern spirit and in more general terms. Lack of love in childhood (absence of one of the parents, undeveloped or exaggerated Oedipus or Electra complex) and now pushing us to look for happiness in another area — in a messy consumption. Rare meeting with friends, which are always busy, lack of attention and warmth from the family are easily compensated by the joy of a new dress, wonderful watches and bright socks… Did you recognize yourself? But this is only a short-term pleasure, so you go and buy something over and over again. Stores are so warm and good, and they are always glad to see you, because they want your money. For the money you will be offered with a cup of tea, friendly conversation with the consultant and fragrant interior, it brings you a calm and comfort, coziness, which is not enough in your home, which you don’t feel in rare meetings with your friends no longer. However, stores can never completely replace your favorite people, and no purchase will not give you as much joy as a simple human communication and support.
The following steps have a practical value: refuse the credit card and start to make shopping lists. Keep accounting of the money spent on shopping. If you can live without some things, postpone to buy it for a few days (or even tomorrow). It is the most difficult thing. Try to answer the following questions: will this thing feed me, will it keep me warm in -30, can it help to save my time? If you answered ‘no’, you do not need it exactly. Direct your efforts to build a normal human relations: go for a free or low-cost events and meet new people, look for friends by interest. Do not be afraid to write a person on the Internet, it will not send you to burn in Hell (in extreme cases does not answer), but you can find a true friend for life. Visit your grandmother in another city (spend money on a ticket to her, rather than on new shoes), because your relatives will give you the most unforgettable emotions that can not be bought for any money.
Ring & sunglasses: NO NAME
Photo: Daria Ratushina
Text: Daria Evtyanova